i like coffee. and hacking blogs. HACK HACK HACK. I am crazy leet
~ [ MainMind : 1/6/2001 08:50:56 PM] *@*

closed system. balanced forces. sinewave swinging seesaws. up now down, down and down. hot water filtered through dirt and paper draws out chemical dependencies. Yin is on smack, and yang is a cokehead. balanced is another word for dependent.swing swing swing. squeaking of the steel chains against the iron bar. dull thuds of the pourly constructed foundation being lifted out and dropped back into the ground. the aluminum poles of the shottily constructed piece of shit toy resonating deep frequencies with the fucking swinging back and forth, up fucking down with mounting energy reaching further toward the sky, and harder toward the ground.

waiting for the chains to break
~ [ MainMind : 1/6/2001 05:40:24 PM] *@*


uuuuggghhhh.... i think i've managed to build up an insanely strong caffeine addiction in just two days of working here.... perhaps it's the cups of coffee every time i pass by the break-type-room in my wing.... I was feeling fine and awake when i got up at SIX, made a sandwich, ate some breakfast (bagel and o.j. yum) Drove over here, was in by 7:40 (early, even!) and then i sat down for some wandering of the net, and i could feel the headache slowly creeping up. it's like a pressure in my temples, a sting behind the eyes, a shakiness in the hands, and i know i need coffee..... trevor, matfei, how do you put up with this crap so much???? i'd rather try to put up with this pain so it'd go away and not come back then to deal with it and drink more coffee and know it'll happen again tomorrow.

'course, i've still got a coffee cup in my hand now... so i guess that makes me a liar... or really weak willed. whichever... hope this makes the headache go away.

~ [ MainMind : 1/4/2001 08:14:31 AM] *@*


it did it again.
i hate the 'net connection here....
~ [ MainMind : 1/3/2001 12:25:28 PM] *@*

'eeeey yocals, i can't use AIM at work, so go back to the commmunication w/ quick-dot-ness.

do it.

do it now.
~ [ MainMind : 1/3/2001 08:04:40 AM] *@*


ok, so here's the deal, i'm gonna try to get this blogged one more time. I need something to keep me focussed and not passing out.
This new years, the plan was for a big ole roll, but the vitamins couldn't be there in time for the countdown, so we were sullen. But not too much, just slightly disappointed, other fun things were had though. all was well. after waking up from passing out on the tweakers' couch 'round 11, i drive home and try to stay awake during the day and not go back to bed until it's reallly a reasonable bedtime, becuase tomorrow, (today actually, the 2nd) is my first day of my co-op job, and want to make a good impression and all that. I fall asleep watching seven with my roomates that night, and get into bed 'round quarter of 11. At about quarter past 12, renee wakes me up for a phone call, it is the lovely agent j informing me that the vitamins were being procurred that night, in a matter of minutes, and was inquiring if i would like to join her, trevor and matfei for a nice lil roll. Did i think about having to work the next day, at 9am? Did i consider the mental wreck it would make me the following day? Did i pause for any reasonable amount of time to debate whether this would be a wise career move or not? Hells no! I accepted without hesitation, and told her i'd be over asap. Threw on some clothes (a nice fuzzy valoure shirt, too) grabbed something decent for the next day, other shit, and jammed on over to the tweakerpad. Was greeted by a trevor just getting back from the store, and in almost no time, matfei and jennnnn were back w/ supplies.

A site called Ecstacy.com (i think) tests pills for people to tell 'em what the active ingedient is. real e, w/ mdma, or fake shit like caffeine. So this site labeled these ones as Twin Turbos, main ingredient, mdma. excellent. lil pink jobs, w/ TT stamped on the square-cornered side, and the other side was rounded. kinda small pills. We all ingested one, and during the course of the night, two more were crushed for bumps. And this stuff was smoooooth. Some people were worrying about noseburn and the like, and this is understandable, given that most e is a grab-bag of assorted filler drugs. But this stufff, i could barely feel, any of the times i bumped it. So either it was good shite, aka pretty pure, or i'm in trouble because my nostrils have no feeling anymore. we dropped at 'bout 1:15, i think, and i had to be in work somewhere between 7 and 9. had to leave the pad by 7:30, the latest. Good thinking, huh?

more later, gonna see if i should be actually doing anything...
~ [ MainMind : 1/2/2001 04:46:56 PM] *@*

chicked-dy check?
~ [ MainMind : 1/2/2001 03:00:42 PM] *@*

feckin' blogger just dropped my post describing last night and today... and my lunchbreak is kinda up, so i can't retype it all... fucking technology.
~ [ MainMind : 1/2/2001 01:21:17 PM] *@*


and now i know why
feels so good to make you cry
the power trip i get
better than anything yet


couldn't ever get too much of it

i'm not bitter, not an ass
i just wanna eat you whole
sell me your soul
i'll give you everything
make me your god
i'll give you everything
beg for my love
i'll give you everything
beg for your life
i'll give you everything
and when you don't obey me
i'll take your everything away.

[explative deleted]

it just pissse me off.
you can't get the fuck along becuase you're too busy worrying about the incredibly MINOR fucking details of your existences.

right, but it's not my existence
what is it my business?
hey, look at that, NONE
except we aren't fucking blind, not like we can ignore, all the commotion and crap you cause
act as if everything is affecting you and only you, exactly you and especially you, ONLY you.
wake the fuck up
look around
open your eyes

or not, not my place right?
[end rant]
~ [ MainMind : 12/31/2000 02:23:56 AM] *@*