heeeeeey people!!! um, for all of you amazingly wonderful readers of mine, who have yet to get me an annual-gift-giving-day gift, you can get me THIS!!

it's fucking beautiful! cd player/ radio tuner, that plays cds encoded with MP3s, which supports up to 8 layers deep of directories, has a incredibly fucking HANDY input jack on the front for my MD player (key!) AND a steering wheel remote thingy!! that's wicked freakin' COOL!!!!! i want one, damnit....

had to do that, it's a damned cool deal, as car stereos go, and i just don't have the money to get it now... just another example of the MAN trying to keep me down....
~ [ MainMind : 12/29/2000 11:42:22 PM] *@*

I just almost killed my computer.
I had finished typing out that whole tirade you see below this post, and hit the 'post and publish" button here in blogger, and internet explorer (goddamnmutherfuckingMICROSOFT) crashed on me. But I didn't know if it had actually gotten the whole text out to the server, or if it had all just been totally lost. I. was. not. pleased.

but luckily, all is well, and the message was posted and published and now you can all see the lunatic i have become with your own eyes. Read and enjoy.

but never forget to question.
~ [ MainMind : 12/29/2000 07:34:07 PM] *@*

phase one. formulate policy.
problems? what? this world? OUR WORLD? humans, you say? people? THOSE CREATURES???? problems? well there's a damn near ton of 'em.
Earth. The full extent of our current existence. The closed system that is our reality. The sky truly is our limit. For now. Point one: we live in a closed system, a single organism that refuses the natural law which states that eventually, the demand of a population increases beyond the ability of the environment to provide a supply. In biology called the K factor, if i remember correctly, the maximum population for a given area. This number is a function of area and resources vs. the population and amount of demand it creates. The revolution of agriculture was the dirt path that started our trek down this superhighway to hungry consumption of everything in sight. We now have hydroponics, pesticides, and automated sprinkler systems, all to increase our food production so we can feed the ever growing population of hungry citizens. The problem is that in our closed system our technology allows us to make our resources stretch further, for the same acre of land to feed more people this year than it did the last. And so our numbers increase. The starving children that are fed today have children of their own tomorrow, and the day after that, those children are starving again, along with their own offspring, and their parents. Techonology is prolonging the inevitable death that will reach us all. I am not saying technology is bad though, i think it is one of the greatest accomplishments of our civilization. Science could one day save us from the plague we are making of ourselves. But not the way things are now. This system cannot support our heavy load for much longer. 10 billion people in the year 2010 is not an option, mother earth will hemorage and purge herself of us all if we demand of her the resources to support that incredible burden.
I'm not huge on history, but as it seems to me, with every advance of technology, we've expanded. and with every expansion there is a war. There are two levels to this waring, and correct me if you think i'm wrong. First the peoples expanding fight to push out or put down, or even exterminate the native of the land. Wether it is animals that threaten a crop, or an intelligent, peaceful people (native americans, what?), advance needs expansion, and expansion can have no opposition. Then the next war is between the people who have moved into the expansion and those who have backed it from afar, both fighting for control of the new resources. After the war, in the glow of victory, there is a population boom. This increase puts a demand on science to increase technology to make the resources available stretch enough to fulfill the needs of the new population, where when they had first arrived at this wonderful land of opportunity, the supplies were plentiful, a few generations down the line, shit gets tough again. It happened to the agriculturalists in the fertile crescent, when the romans flexed their imperial might across all of the mediteranean, in north america when the europe invaded. And these were just the comfortable expansions. We haven't stopped growing, even though the territory which we are filling hasn't grown with us. So we spread out from urban centers into the wilderness, suburban sprawl, bubbling up like lava flows from an active volcano, but more like puss from an irritated blister or venomous posion wave from a toxic waste spill. We infest and infect everything we touch to order it to something we think is better than its natural order. I may be a complete moron for referencing such a pop movie as The Matrix, but humanity is a virus.

This has been a bit of a diluted meandering explanation, but the problem is we spread and grow, always. We do not accept any natural boundaries placed on us. Perhaps that's a noble trait for an organism to evolve, history shows that it has done the descendants of this mutation to do very well, because here we are, in all our viral glory. Medicine has a hard time killing an infectious virus in the human body, perhaps this is a good analogy of the difficulty we would have of trying to cure this planet of our plague. Nothing works but total extinction. But that isn't an option. I want to father a generation of my own, i can't deny my humanity.

Most people want to have their own children. Most people also don't like cramped conditions. Always fighting for more space, we move out. I grew up in a section of the city of Boston called Roslindale, long ago known as Roslindale Hills, or something to that affect. In the past, it was just another rural farming community supporting the urban trade center of Boston, when it was still a tiny port town (by today's standards) on an outcropping into the harbor called the Shawmut penninsula. During the civil war, long range cannons were placed in another outlying town called Dorchester Heights to bombard the wharfs and city, where not more than a year ago, some of my friends called home, and had grown up there, just another now very urban part of the current city of Boston. I now live in a section of the city called Mission Hill, a subsection of Roxbury, which was just on the edge of tidal swamps during colonial days, and is now boarded by the Back Bay area, all built on landfil that linked the Capital Hill area of Boston to the mainland, doing away with the whole penninsula aspect of the city. All in order to expand. Now i look down my street and can see multi level cement buildings being errected in the place of single story buildings, match-stick condominiums replacing old homes, giving families 3000 sq feet of living space, a postage stamp yard and a mailbox to call their own. Universities are buying up private land and expanding. The high density areas take over the low density areas, and the low density areas move out into the rural and undeveloped country side. This may seem like an innocuous paragraph of hisitorical bullshit and contemporary who-cares, but it serves as an example of what we, as a people do, over time, to any area we inhabit. We only do this because we all need our space and every day the amount of individuals that "we" include increases.

And what are we all here to do? Biologically, we are only here to reproduce. We sew our seed and are no longer necessary as soon as our progeny is self sufficient. In our delusional minds we create some sort of fantasy for us to fulfill the whole "white picket fence, two and a half kids, three cars in a two car garage" we create some dream, we find a reason to live. When we are children we never ask why, but when someone says "what do you want to be when you grow up?" we always have an answer. Then when you are entering college, and more of reality has sunk in for you, you are hard pressed to even come up with one option. Maybe it's only me, but the question of WHY creeps into every thought. Do you want to be an architect? design buildings and houses, strip malls and movie theaters? What good will that do? Someone will have a new place to live now, thanks to you, but thier old place to live was fine, they just wanted a change. now you're going to cut down some trees, pave over the wilderness, and put u a domicile for another virus like yourself, so that their friends can buy up the lot next door and do the same. Want to go into advertising? Sell products galore? Discount it when it's new, and when it's old discount it some more. Paint an image of perfection and sell the lie, make them believe your faerie tale so they buy buy buy. How is your automobile going to make my life easier? Does it contribute to the completion of my goal? Do i have a goal? Here is the question of capitalism, we are a society of consumers, but we consume things that are unnecessary to our survival, and even impede on our comfort (financially draining, and then that new car needs a garage of it's own, can't trust the neighborhood to park it on the street) What are we doing here besides fulfilling our biological imperative to procreate?? Perhaps that question is too philosophical for today.

Roight! so we're going to reproduce, and our children are going to need more room for their own expansion. Cut to the chase. We can't keep doing this in our closed system! We will run out of resources eventually, even if science allows our technology to keep us going for generations to come, we will eventually (literally and figuratively) run out of gas. The peope running the show now don't quite seem to care. They make like they are on our side, like the want cars to be economical, and to have good mileage, but why would they? all the automakers are in with the oil industry, and are making mucho denero off of the high gas prices. Airlines suck for transportation, but isn't it amazing that the U.S. has kept from creating a national transportation system for so long? The HMOs are rich because the take 30 cents for every dollar what a government agency could do for 3 cents. (i know i'm almost quoting someone on that, but i can't quite remember who, so whoever youare, thanks, sorry) The CIA and FBI shut down website beause information is freedom. Knowledge is power. And power in the hands of the populus means revolution. Our system of government is called a democracy, but is actually a representative oligarchy. The candidates are limited by thier origin and connections. Not just anyone can become the president of the united states, it takes a father who is an expresident himself, as welll as the ex head of hte CIA, and a brother governing the pivotal state. Don't worry about the votes though, because those ballots are just soma for the politically active masses. Sedatives to keep you from questioning.

Question the government. Why is that policeman on your corner? Why is that flower delivery van still parked across the street from you??? Why can we not talk about pot in a good way on television? Why does a huge broadcasting corporation have any more right to the airwaves than a person trying to broadcast from their basement?

Question your purpose: Why are you working? Why are you buying that videogame? Why have you gone to school? Why do you own that car? Why do you even watch your local news when all they do is tease you about the next inocuous segment that is going to be on after the next commercial break, and the total time of teasers and commercials adds up to more time than they spend actually reporting the so-called "news"??

Question your religion: Why do they explain creation like that? Why do they all say killing is bad, yet almost every major religion has fought "holy wars"? Why do all these gods hate eachother? If Allah and Jesus and God are all so omniscient and omnipotent, why do they need us lil ole humans to do their fighting???????? If they are so fucking powerful, they can go kill the nonbelievers themselves, right???? If they are so allpowerful, why do they need believers at all? Will it cheapen their existence if no one is running around shouting about how great they are??? Isn't that just slightly VAIN? what happened to humility, shithead????

Question me: why am i still ranting? what the fuck is my point? what good will all of my questions do when there is probably no one who can offer you a true answer?

~ [ MainMind : 12/29/2000 07:27:13 PM] *@*