9.15.2000

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... (that was an exhale of relief and comfort) just sitting down in front of the old box for the first time in a while feeling really rambly and really good. Out of the blue, my buddy G------, from work asks if i'd want some powder refreshment chillin later. I of course accepted, and we returned here to my place to consume and buy strange chemicals online. As tradition has it, speedy stuff such as negapepsi make me a bit on the rambling side. G----- was kind enough to be the audience for it. with proper amount of commentary and interaction of course, but i was rambling a ton. So here I am fulfilling my need to continue that ramble. So here i am. to my left is a large mirror with a strange powder residue on it. and in front of me is a pipe. Twas a good night, my friends. And tomorrow shall be good as well, the first floor apartments around me (3 of 'em, two of which we here know) are having kegs friday night. So tweakers, please do come by. There will be liquids but by all means bring some doobage. i might have something as well. But good day off i'm working on. This is a very awake feeling i'm having, it's going to be hard to fall asleep.

what to say, what to say. Not easy to do, deciding that is, so much flying around. That and typing isn't perfect. Have to take some time, and many backspaces to get shit out. Well, not that much, but by my standards, for my normal typing, this is pretty bad... clumsy speedy fingers. with the keyboard. Sometimes i reach a point in my rant where i realize what i'm saying and finding the obvious flaws in it, and realizing i'd overzealously drawn myself into an improbable corner. and it takes me a minute to regain my train of thought from that lack in confidence in what i was saying. But at least i pause to consider what i am actually saying, unlike many people who just go around without considering consequences or significance of actions. I suppose i should be ""ing now, but i don't care to do that anymore. bleh. i can stilll do that. "bleh" that is. :::pauses to smoke a bowl:::: Just spent ten minutes staring into smoke clouds.... i dig 'em... i really dig watching them, right near a light, so you can see the different layers in the atmosphere, and the updrafts around the bulb pulling up strands of smoke, in beautiful wispy sheetlike layers ... dig. movement like a gelatinous beast, fighting the wind, twisting and contorting in on itself as it looses to the air.

going to start a cult. news at 11.
~ [ MainMind : 9/15/2000 3:29:58 AM] *@*

9.10.2000

Reflection time, kiddies. Boys and Girls, Ladies and Gentlemen it is time we all think back upon our past twenty four hours of existence. Humans are selfish. Think back upon your last day of life and think "how could my actions be interpretted as selfish" think of perspectives, think of others' positions, look at it from the opposite side. Reflect upon your last day of life and realize it wasn't just your most recently completed, but it could also be the absolute final hours of your existence. When someone reads your obituary, they would think as this just past, as the last day of your life. How would they think you lived? How would they think you went out feelin' like? Would they, because of your actions, think you were completely and totally selfish?

That is the reflection of the night. If just the people reading this blog did that, and considered the results of their mental calculations, it would effect a change in the world great enough to know that you were at least part of it. Humans are also sheep, they seek a bellweather, a leader. Can today be your day to lead?

Willl it some day be my day to lead? My children, if i callled you, would you respond?
~ [ MainMind : 9/10/2000 4:24:28 AM] *@*